Fantasy Football Picks & Chicks Week 5: Choosing Fantasy Starters By Their Ladies

You don't need an advanced mathematics degree to succeed at fantasy football. Instead use our patented formula, which accounts for a player's ability to score on the field and off.

Eli Manning Vs. Brian Hoyer

Eli Manning and the New York Giants are off to an ugly 0-4 start. However, even the most hate-filled NFC East fan couldn't use "ugly" to describe Manning's smoking hot wife Abby McGrew (left). She is easily a 9, which coincidentally is the same number of INTs Eli has thrown this year. He gets a break going against the paper-thin Philadelphia Eagles defense this week, so chalk him up for 25 points, for a combined 34.
With bye weeks facing big-name QBs, week five may be the time to give Cleveland Browns QB Brian Hoyer a chance. In only two games, Hoyer has already put up 48 fantasy points and looks to add to that number Thursday night at home against the Bills. Hoyer may be a rookie when it comes to fantasy football, but he's a seasoned pro when it comes to fantasy babes, as he locked up a long-term deal when he married Lauren Scrivens (right). She is a 9.5 and Hoyer will have a breakout game with 26 points for a 35.5 combined score.

Willis McGahee Vs. Darren McFadden

Are you reading a fantasy advice column with two Cleveland Browns? You're damn right you are, and Willis McGahee could be a solid play against the Buffalo Bills at home. With 63 career touchdowns and nine kids from eight different women, one thing is clear: Willis McGahee knows how to score. His latest babe, Marshevet Hooker (left), a track and field star, is a superb 9.0. Combine that with my McGahee prediction of 9.5, and you've got 18.5.
2012 was another disappointing year for Raiders running back Darren McFadden, with one notable exception: He reportedly got to hook up with Rhianna in Hawaii! McFadden's on the field efforts haven't been quite as pretty -- he's once again got an injured hamstring and will be limited against the Chargers this week. Rhianna is obviously a 10, but McFadden and his bum leg are worth a four at best, for a total of 14.

Syd Wilder Is Hot & Funny & Great At Twerking & Also Hot [Interview]

The average ESPN National Cheerleading Champion doesn't pursue a career in comedy, but Syd Wilder from Seth Rogen's "This Is The End" and YouTube hit "How To Take A Slutty Selfie" is more than just another pretty face...or, pretty body...or, pretty, um...the point is, she's real pretty. Anyway, Syd called us up to chat about her latest outrageous video, "How To Twerk With Seniors" (instructing 80-year-olds in the ways of Miley Cyrus) and why guys shouldn't be afraid to date women who are funnier than us.
Thanks for taking the time to talk. How's it going?
I'm hungover in bed right now -- I was out celebrating my birthday.
Is it your actual birthday today? Or yesterday?
I don't really remember if it's my birthday...I think it was Thursday. It's been a week-long celebration. I hired a big fatass lady who taught twerking and booty-dancing to all my girlfriends, and we were drunk all over the floor like toddlers. That was fun.
Aren't you the twerking teacher?
My girlfriends don't learn well from me.

How did you find the senior citizens in the video? Did you just show up to a retirement home?
I had to hold a casting call -- it was hysterical, all these old people came in. One guy just dropped his pants and already had Depends on. He has more followers than me on Twitter. Some were more shy than others, but some were like, "I'll do anything." One was like, "I'll do it on the walls."
Had they heard of twerking, or did you have to explain, "It's like the jitterbug"?
Yeah, the jitterbug with more ass. One of them in the audition had heard of it, but she had such a sense of entitlement. She looked like a perfect old person -- oh my gosh, I'd love to have her -- but then she pulled this attitude: "How much am I getting paid again?"
It's obvious why guys enjoy (watching) twerking, but what's the appeal for women?
I don't feel like I'm turning a guy on -- I just feel like I'm turning myself on. I've always done it and I'm really good at it, because you really want to do the thing you're great at. Like, if you're good at ping pong. I just love to do it, and it's also like working out. Maybe the other girls just had really bad childhoods?


As a comedian, what kind of jokes do you recommend guys make or avoid on dates?
On a first date, avoid all sexual jokes. I would not talk about politics. Talk about any joke on Chelsea Handler -- just repeat those. There was one guy I met, he was so nerdy but he had the number-one pick-up line: "I would love to take you out on a nice dinner, and then go grocery shopping at Whole Foods." Girls are so into the quirky, weird Zach Galifianakis thing. I would go out with any guy who asked me that question. It's like, how did you know I shop at Whole Foods?
If a guy wants to chat with a lady comedian after her set, what's the right way to do it?
When she bombs, tell her she looks really pretty. When she kills, say she's really funny, don't say she's pretty. When I kill, guys say, "You're so pretty," but I don't want to hear that. Tell me I'm funny -- I was just trying to make you laugh. And if they reference one of your jokes, that's big, too. That tells me they're listening.
What was the inspiration for "How To Take A Slutty Selfie"?
There's this girl I know -- you know those people you don't really like, but they follow you, so you follow them? -- she always posts photos of herself with inspirational quotes. It's like, b*tch, just post the photo, don't include Einstein and Churchill.

Rihanna may be queen of the night in her upcoming video for "Pour It Up," but she's invited a few other sexy ladies to the party. And she's personally introducing us to each of them in new behind-the-scenes footage from the clip.

"This beast right here, Nicole is f---ing amazing. She just killed," she said of Nicole "The Pole" Williams, before breaking down the talents of the other dancers featured in the darkly sexy clip, which the singer directed herself.

"And now Candace [Cane] is going to get a turn to do some sexy s---, and then we have to get Secret Moneii. Her ass is just its own life," she added of the well-endowed woman. "We got her a dressing room and then we got her ass another dressing room."

Conceptually, the video seems to be pretty straightforward, with the women pole dancing and twerking. But they aren't just twerking. "I bet you never seen bitches twerk on water. My bitches twerk on water," Rihanna said of the video's choreography. "No-basic zone. No basics."

A release date hasn't been set yet for the video, but Rihanna has been teasing the video all week. And on Tuesday night she dropped a few more images, including one of her learning how to pole dance. "My first pole lesson! #pouritup #bts," she wrote, before taking fans along to the lesson on Instagram.

April Rose's Best TwitPics From Summer

In memory of summer, we're collecting the best warm weather social media photos from our "Guy Code" ladies and posting one gallery each day this week. Yesterday, we presented Melanie Iglesias's summer as told through her Instagram pics. Today you're getting our favorite blonde bombshell, April Rose. Stay tuned for Lisa Ramos, Tiffany Luu and Carly Aquilino over the next three days.
A Chicago native, April is a true Midwestern girl that any guy would love to hang around (and not just because she's gorgeous). She loves America, beer, her Bullmastiff named Sharkey, classic automobiles, hanging out in bikinis and talking about lesbians (see below photo). She even has a great sense of humor with a dirty streak. It was a big summer for her. She appeared in "Grown Ups 2" as the hot dance teacher, enjoyed some Squirt and saw a bunch of awesome cars. Enjoy reliving it in photos:

Your Socks? Nasty As Hell...Girls' Socks? Sexy As Hell [Photos]

Guys, here's a pro tip for the bedroom: Ladies can be turned off as quickly as you can be turned on, and most of 'em ("Blurred Lines" model Emily Ratajkowski to the contrary) think it looks ridiculous when you're wearing socks and nothing else, especially torn ones. We can understand why you might be confused, because -- for some mysterious reason -- a pair of socks can make women look even hotter...uh, especially torn ones.
To prove it, TheCHIVE is celebrating "Socktober," the only holiday that will make you reconsider the whole foot fetish thing (unless you've got a weird kink for Christmas stockings)

Watch Kunle Afolayan's Trailer for October 1 Movie

We all know anything Kunle Afolayan touches turns into Gold. The award winning movie producer of Figurine and Phone swap drops an epic movie, depicting the events of the colonial era till Nigeria's independence on October 1st 1960.





Shot with high quality visuals, fantastic Nollywood and Hollywood actors, the movie 'October 1' promises to be an epic movie..

Movie Synopsis below...

    It’s September 1960, and with Nigeria on the verge of independence from British colonial rule, a northern Nigerian Police Detective, DAN WAZIRI, is urgently despatched by the Colonial Government to the trading post town of Akote in the Western Region of Nigeria to solve a series of female murders that have struck horror in the hearts and minds of the local community.



    On getting to Akote, more murders are committed, and with local tension high and volatile, Waziri has a race on his hands to solve the case before even more local women are killed.    Set against the backdrop of the national celebratory mood of the impending independence, Waziri is pulled into a game of cat and mouse as he and the killer try to outwit each other… leading to the climatic end in which the life of a popular local female teacher and village belle, TAWA, is held in the balance.

    Waziri has to race against the clock to capture the killer, save Tawa and solve the crime before the British flag is lowered and the Nigerian flag raised on Independence Day… October 1.

How we robbed Pasuma of his Range sport & shared the money – Robber confesses

The suspects  identified as Fatai Balogun, Wale Akinjobi and Gbenga Kolawole during interrogation, confessed to have come all the way from Ogun state to operate.
A source, who craved anonymity  told Crime Alert that the police launched a manhunt for the gang after  Pasuma’s encounter, during which  they were  intercepted.
The gang, as gathered, also attacked a wealthy man in Iju Ishaga area of Lagos,where they robbed him of N500,000, his mobile phones and other valuables. After the operation, one of them, Wale who resides around the area reportedly dug a hole at the back of his compound where he buried his weapon.
But unknown to him, a resident said to have sighted him,  alerted the police who quickly arrested him and transferred him to the SARS.During interrogation, Wale reportedly confessed that his gang robbed Pasuma of his Range Rover Sport Utility Vehicle, SUV, and an unspecified amount of  money, four months ago in Lagos. His confessional statement, as gathered, led to the arrest of other suspected members.
Fatai Balogun, told  Crime Alert that leader of the gang, Ade, got the highest share from Pasuma’s loot.

Nollywood Actress Bimbo Akinsanya Acquires Customised Cruiser Jeep

These are good times for Nollywood actress, Bimbo Akinsanya as she recently acquired a Toyota FJ cruiser jeep.
Bimbo Akinsanya is among the top listed Yoruba movie actress that has stable face in Yoruba movies.
The Abeokuta, Ogun State born actress has joined the league of celebs who cruise around town in exotic cars.
According to report, Bimbo acquired the automobile in August 2013 and went ahead to get a customized plate number, ABIMBOLA, for it a few days ago.
Bimbo was charged for manslaughter earlier in the year but was able to get off the hook and has since embraced a low profile status.

Nicki Minaj 2014 Lamborghini Aventador Roadster

Nicki Minaj is no stranger to nice whips. We've seen her twerking on a Maybach, driving a pink Bentley and cruising in a Ferrari California. Now the rap star and Queen of the Barbies will be pulling up in a 2014 Lamborghini Aventador Roadster that she picked up from Exotic Euro Cars. According to her Instagram, Nicki may be painting this lovely machine in Barbie pink. We're not sure how many of her previous rides are still tucked in the garage, but when you have a Lambo like this you don't really need anything else.

Miley Cyrus' Mom Answers Her Haters: I'm 'Right Here'

In a tender moment from Wednesday's 'Miley: The Movement,' Tish lets everyone know that she's always been at her daughter's side.

We're just one day away from "Miley: The Movement," and with a new clip out, we have a sneak peek at what the MTV documentary will look like. Instead of seeing hard-core dancing or jumping out of planes, Smilers will witness a tender moment in Miley Cyrus' crazy life.

The clip centers on Miley's relationship with her mother, Tish. In rehearsal, Miley clutches a microphone while Tish massages her shoulder, feeling a giant stress knot in her back. Together, they work out her muscles with little squeezes and rolls.

Where Is Miley's Mother? 'Right Beside Her'

"My mom is my homey," Miley says. "If I win, she wins — not because she's my manager; because she's my mom."

Many tabloids and grimacing gossipers scorn Miley's style and decisions (you remember the backlash after the VMAs, right?), asking "What does Billy Ray think of this?" or "Where are her parents?" And beside the fact that many of those haters forget that Cyrus is a mature 20 years old, Tish still wants those people to know that she's fully in support of her daughter.

"Anyone that's ever said, 'Where's her mother?' " Tish begins, answering, "Right beside her — through good, through bad, through arguments, through crying, through I don't care what — right there."

'Miley: The Movement' Trailer

Miley's album, Bangerz, started streaming on iTunes on Monday, two days before the Wednesday premiere of her new documentary. Ready for a full hour of Miley? Tune into MTV on October 2 at 10 p.m. ET for "Miley: The Movement."